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Features
Dec/Jan 2013 Issue
Table of Contents
Food Allergy Bullying
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It’s important for adults to be responsive to a child who reports bullying and to reassure them that you will get them help, Cash says. Find out the school’s bullying prevention policy and how it’s being implemented. But parents should not confront the bully, tell the child to confront the bully or encourage retaliation, because it can make matters worse.
“The parents should say to their child, ‘I’m glad you told me. You did the right thing. Now let’s talk about what’s the right thing to do together. Let’s formulate a plan together so we can deal with this.’ And by doing so, you teach your child problem-solving skills,” Cash says.
“Some of the strategies that one might think would work— like, tell your teacher—might not be effective, particularly if the teacher is the one who’s doing or supporting the bullying. So the child and the parent need to talk about what’s likely to be successful. Can we go to the school principal? Can we go to the school guidance counselor? Can we go to the school psychologist? If that isn’t likely to work, can we involve our allergist in going to the school or at least communicating with the school in some way?”
If the situation worsens, Cash says, parents can ask the child’s allergist to write a letter to the school saying the child’s health is in jeopardy and asking for the child to be transferred to another school. Or parents can write to the school board attorney, as there are legal precedents of parents suing schools that don’t take an active and positive role in preventing bullying.
Allergists are so busy with managing the child’s food allergy, they usually don’t inquire about bullying, Wallace says. “We may not be asking enough at the right time. In a short office visit, there’s so much to talk about, it may get pushed to the end of the list.”
At the root of bullying behavior is domestic violence, Cash says. “If we could eliminate domestic violence, I’m convinced that it would eliminate most of the bullying,” he says. “When kids are victimized, particularly if they’re victimized at home by people they trust or are supposed to be able to trust, they tend to bifurcate. Some become chronic victims and develop a victim mentality. Others identify with the aggressor and become bullies themselves. The ones who are bullied then bully those who are lower on the hierarchy, so to speak. It’s the kick-the-dog syndrome.”
Comments (4)
I feel for this kid. I am allergic to tree nuts and peanuts, and faced similar (although less serious) teasing when I was in grade school. The father of one of my friends commented `She's the one who could die if she ate a peanut butter sandwich'. (Yes, this is true. Fortunately I had enough sense never to attempt to eat a peanut butter sandwich!) Things are much better now than forty years ago when I was in school -- now schools appear to have a nut-free policy.
Posted by: clare | December 7, 2012 6:51 PM Report this comment
I feel this lady's pain. My now 14 year old daughter was diagnosed as a Type 1 diabetic when she was 10 and just starting fifth grade. She went from a straight A student to a shivering wreck of a child who technically failed fifth grade because of the bullying she received all year from her TEACHERS! I went to the school administration twice, had nuclear meltdowns in the hallways more times than I can count and finally consulted two lawyers and wrote a letter to the school superintendent outlining the federal court case her school district was facing. The school principal and I finally sat down and worked out how sixth grade was going to go, but my daughter still struggles with the results of adults not caring for her welfare and safety and she is in high school now. She was also diagnosed as celiac sprue when she was twelve so she has a double whammy to deal with. I have to be very direct and uncompromising with every school administration every year about my daughter's medical care plan and her 504 plan. I will never forgive the two women who abused my daughter's trust and health and I don't allow any school official any leeway at this point. It's an awful feeling to have to literally fight for everything that my daughter has a right to because of the ignorance and incompetence in our schools.
Posted by: JDTilton | November 20, 2012 8:35 PM Report this comment
You can't count on Public Schools to take care of your child or his special needs. I would have pulled him out of that school so fast their heads would spin. Private school or home school are your only hope to keep him safe.
Posted by: Unknown | November 20, 2012 1:17 PM Report this comment
I can't begin to tell you how upset and then angry I got reading about what happened to this child in school. It is beyond infuriating to hear and see examples of how supposed carefully planned and good intentioned school districts either look the other way or assume its not as bad as it actually is when we as parents--and health professionals--know otherwise. I am very happy to hear that your son is doing well in his new school.
Posted by: ROBERTA T | November 20, 2012 1:04 PM Report this comment