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Features
Dec/Jan 2013 Issue
Table of Contents
Food Allergy Bullying
Know Your Rights
In Thomas’ situation, the bullying was fed by an unstable school environment. Then to make matters worse for Thomas, Garrow says, the school bungled the emergency. The principal, assistant principal and school nurse were not on campus at the time of the incident; the clinic aide was at lunch; the office staff couldn’t find Thomas’ emergency action plan because they had misfiled it; they didn’t immediately administer epinephrine and instead waited for Garrow, who happened to be working from home that day, to arrive at the school clinic.
After some more missteps, the school told Garrow that they would comply with Thomas’ IHP and that they would move him to another classroom. But it was too little too late for Garrow, who didn’t feel her son would be safe in the school. So she placed Thomas in a private school for the remainder of the year. But as a single mother with two kids, Garrow knew she couldn’t continue to afford the private school tuition. For third grade, she asked that her son to be transferred to another public school in the same district.
According to the U.S. Department of Education, schools must offer students with disabilities, including those with life-threatening food allergies, a “free appropriate public education.” If the school district can’t provide such a program and the student is placed in a private school, the district has financial responsibility.
As a FAAN vice president, Garrow understood her rights. She told the superintendent: “I know I can still press charges against the boy who did this to my son and I know I can make the district responsible for paying my son’s tuition at a private school, because his rights were violated in one of your schools. I want my son transferred to another school and I want to know what you’re going to do to make this happen.”
The transfer was signed, sealed and delivered the next day. “It’s sad that you have to go that route, when you feel you have to threaten people in order to make a change,” says Garrow, who kept meticulous documentation with names and dates of every bullying incident and of the school’s noncompliance with Thomas’ IHP. She recorded every time she was called by the school and every time she had to go into the school office.
Garrow now has a 504 Plan for Thomas, as well as FAAN’s Food Allergy Action Plan. “To stay educated and on top of it and to keep advocating for your child’s rights is the way to go. You have to keep doing it until it’s right,” she says.
As Thomas started third grade, the emotional effects of the bullying in second grade continued to afflict him. His grades declined. He was combative and inattentive. He acted out in school toward his teacher and at home toward his mother and sister. Then in October, he broke down while driving in the car with his mother.
“He had a meltdown and said, ‘I just want to kill myself. I just want to die because of my food allergies.’ I stopped immediately in the middle of the road and said, ‘What did you just say?’ He was crying and saying, ‘You don’t have to worry about taking one wrong bite and it killing you. Someone tried to hurt me last year and they knew it could kill me. And I’m only in third grade, Mommy. I’m only 8 years old,’” Garrow says.
Over the next three months, Thomas twice more repeated that he wanted to hurt himself, that he wanted to die.
Evaluations with a psychologist and psychiatrist determined Thomas had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), along with depression and anxiety that stemmed from the bullying he endured in second grade.
“No child should ever have to go through bullying. No matter what, it’s unacceptable. And to be bullied with something that can kill you, it’s even worse,” Garrow says. “When you see your child going through this, you wish you could take all their pain away and make everything better. Then to think that they’re having thoughts of hurting themselves and not wanting to be here—it’s a total heartbreak I can’t even explain.”
Comments (4)
I feel for this kid. I am allergic to tree nuts and peanuts, and faced similar (although less serious) teasing when I was in grade school. The father of one of my friends commented `She's the one who could die if she ate a peanut butter sandwich'. (Yes, this is true. Fortunately I had enough sense never to attempt to eat a peanut butter sandwich!) Things are much better now than forty years ago when I was in school -- now schools appear to have a nut-free policy.
Posted by: clare | December 7, 2012 6:51 PM Report this comment
I feel this lady's pain. My now 14 year old daughter was diagnosed as a Type 1 diabetic when she was 10 and just starting fifth grade. She went from a straight A student to a shivering wreck of a child who technically failed fifth grade because of the bullying she received all year from her TEACHERS! I went to the school administration twice, had nuclear meltdowns in the hallways more times than I can count and finally consulted two lawyers and wrote a letter to the school superintendent outlining the federal court case her school district was facing. The school principal and I finally sat down and worked out how sixth grade was going to go, but my daughter still struggles with the results of adults not caring for her welfare and safety and she is in high school now. She was also diagnosed as celiac sprue when she was twelve so she has a double whammy to deal with. I have to be very direct and uncompromising with every school administration every year about my daughter's medical care plan and her 504 plan. I will never forgive the two women who abused my daughter's trust and health and I don't allow any school official any leeway at this point. It's an awful feeling to have to literally fight for everything that my daughter has a right to because of the ignorance and incompetence in our schools.
Posted by: JDTilton | November 20, 2012 8:35 PM Report this comment
You can't count on Public Schools to take care of your child or his special needs. I would have pulled him out of that school so fast their heads would spin. Private school or home school are your only hope to keep him safe.
Posted by: Unknown | November 20, 2012 1:17 PM Report this comment
I can't begin to tell you how upset and then angry I got reading about what happened to this child in school. It is beyond infuriating to hear and see examples of how supposed carefully planned and good intentioned school districts either look the other way or assume its not as bad as it actually is when we as parents--and health professionals--know otherwise. I am very happy to hear that your son is doing well in his new school.
Posted by: ROBERTA T | November 20, 2012 1:04 PM Report this comment