I have known that I have an allergy to sesame seeds since I was five.  But I never imagined that 22 years later it would cause this thought to hit me in the middle of a busy intersection: “Oh my god, I’m going to die!”  Obviously, I didn’t die.  But according to my doctor, I should have.

It all started mundanely enough,   I’m five.  It’s snack time at kindergarten.  On the menu are milk and sesame seed crackers.  I partake.  I throw up.  Right there on the brand new, only carpeted wing of the school.  There ought to be a plaque.

After that, I understandably avoided eating sesame seeds.  Sometimes I had the sneaking suspicion that I suffered from Childhood Throw Up Aversion Syndrome – was I really allergic to sesame seeds, or did I just think I was because I got sick on them once?  There were a few incidents – sometimes eating a particular kind of granola, cracker, or bread would leave me itchy, uncomfortable and wondering.   But never anything serious.

Until one New Year’s day.

I was home from college for the holidays.  My best friend’s parents were hosting their annual New Year’s Day party, serving Middle Eastern food.  I found the stuffed grape leaves, baba ganoush and hummus fascinating.  I’d never tried any of them before.  I particularly liked the hummus, gobbling up scoop after scoop from little pita triangles, wondering where it had been all my life.  I’ll tell you where – lying in wait just beyond my kindergarten classroom walls until the moment it would reveal itself as The Dip of Death.  Hummus is made of tahini, a sesame seed paste.  Any lingering doubts about the existence of my allergy were flushed down the toilet along with my violent reaction a half hour later.

So the diligence stepped up.

I was pretty good at avoiding sesame seeds.  I had some workable strategies like the Bottom Bun Trick.  Sesame seed buns only have a few seeds on the bottom part of the bun, and a few seeds never bothered me.  Only things like sesame seed pastes and buns covered with sesame seeds gave me a reaction.  So I would order a sandwich with bottom buns only.  In college, when I walked into the sandwich shop, they would greet me, “Hey, there’s the Bottom-Bun Girl!”

All fine.  I thought this allergy was really no big deal.  Just avoid sesame seeds.  I’ve always had plenty of airborne allergies – grass, trees, cats.  Take shots, own dogs, no Big Macs.  I was dealing.  It was fine.

Then one July morning when I was 27, I had a hankering for a burger.  I crossed the street to the diner, ordered a burger- bottom bun only, please, I ate the burger and left.  When I reached the park three blocks away, I started feeling itchy.  Strange.  Must be something in the park.  Think I’ll go home.  Think I’ll go home faster.  Think I’ll run.  Think I’ll race through the front door and tear off the clothes now burning on my body.  Oh my God, what is happening?  Run to the medicine cabinet.  Thank God I have a liquid Benadryl® left from breaking out in hives at that wedding.  Chug it down.  What is going on?  I’m burning and itching from my groin on up.  This has never happened before.  Oh my God, was it the sesame seeds?  Could it have been the sesame seeds?  I had a bottom bun – were there any on there – were there enough?  Oh Lord oh no what’s happening this has never happened before oh no oh no put your clothes back on run over to the restaurant oh help please help me what’s happening oh dear God look both ways it’s just across the street oh dear God oh - oh my throat my throat – Oh my God, I’m going to die…

Unbelievably, the attack arrested itself, the swelling reversed and I survived.  Two days later when I went to the allergist, he told me I should be dead.  Anaphylactic shock.  Your throat closes up and you die.  Each subsequent exposure brings you closer to death.  That is why I didn’t recognize what was happening at first that July morning.  It was unlike any reaction I’d ever had – that’s the nature of progression.  The day I went to the doctor’s office, he told me I was not to leave, nor was I ever again to be without a one-dose dispenser of epinephrine.  He told me about a young man less fortunate than I who died at a street fair after eating peanut oil.  He told me this was unlike any other allergy I’d ever had.  And I was to take it seriously.  He didn’t have to tell me twice.

I have forsaken Middle Eastern cuisine, tiny evening bags (my EpiPen® is about six inches long) and even Chinese food (it’s sent me shooting up and off to the emergency room twice now – no more)  I’ve learned the value of the phrase “fatal allergy” when ordering in a restaurant and have tried to get over feeling high-maintenance when I do.  Believe me, precisely communicating the nature and gravity of your allergy when you’re ordering is far less inconvenient for your waiter and dining companions that a shot of epinephrine and a visit from the paramedics halfway through the meal.

I was lucky that day in July.  Lucky to have that bottle of Benadryl® in the cabinet.  Lucky to have faith in a God who would hear my prayers.  But listening to my doctor and always carrying the epinephrine pen with me has nothing to do with luck.  It’s heeding the warnings and taking responsibility for their message.  Since this has happened, I’ve run across many people who have occasional allergic run-ins with strawberries, shellfish, or other anaphylactic suspects.  These folks usually have the same casual attitude about their allergy that I used to have about mine.  But I warn them: with anaphylaxis, you never know when your number will be up, so be prepared.  Take it seriously.  And always carry your EpiPen®.

Take It Seriously!

If you have had a severe allergic reaction in the past, it is very important to take your allergy seriously – anaphylactic shock can develop suddenly and without warning.

Anaphylactic shock is an allergic reaction that is sudden, violent, and frightening.  It can be life-threatening, with death occurring in minutes.  It should always be given immediate medical attention.

The first sign of anaphylactic shock is usually itchiness, particularly around the eyes or face.  Other symptoms can quickly follow – hives, vomiting, diarrhea, wheezing, chest tightness, feeling faint, swelling of the throat and other parts of the body.  A common symptom is respiratory distress with difficult or painful breathing.  If symptoms are allowed to proceed unchecked, there can be an irregular heartbeat, a drop in blood pressure, loss of consciousness, and even death.

Foods that most commonly trigger anaphylaxis are peanuts, nuts, fish, shellfish, eggs, milk and berries.  Be vigilant about checking labels and knowing food ingredients, and be assertive when eating at restaurants to make certain the food you eat is safe for you.

If you have a life-threatening allergy or a history of severe symptoms, you should always carry an EpiPen®, an emergency kit of epinephrine (also known as adrenaline).  This little life-saving device holds a pre-measured dose of epinephrine that can easily and quickly be self-administered at the onset of an allergic reaction.  It keeps your symptoms in check for 10 to 20 minutes, giving you time to rush to the nearest emergency room and get treatment.

The EpiPen® is for emergency use only and is available by prescription from your doctor.