Making Merry

I live in Alaska where winters can be bitterly cold with temperatures dropping to minus 20 for weeks at a time. With frequent blizzards and only five hours of sunlight a day, folks tend to gather together and stay indoors close to the fire, particularly during the holidays. Traditions of food and family are not only a pleasant way to spend time, they often become a survival strategy.

For the Christmas holiday, my father and I travel to Nelchina, a tiny dot on the map that’s a five-hour drive from my home in Anchorage. This village sits on the ridge of the Majestic Valley in view of the Nelchina Glacier and Wrangle-St. Elias National Park. A group of us, typically eight adults, ten kids and ten dogs, spend the holidays in my friends’ home. This surrogate family is of Norwegian ancestry and is highly musical. Since cable TV doesn’t exist out in the wilds of Alaska, we carol and sing into the night—and we eat.

As a guest with food allergies (I’m severely allergic to cow’s milk, wheat and oats), I’ve been accepted with open arms into this happy group of foodies. With recipes deliciously altered to accommodate, we feast on a traditional Norwegian Christmas dinner.

It’s become customary for me to bring special dishes to pass around the table that I know are safe. Since Nelchina has only a “general store” (think back to the 1800’s; the nearest Walmart is some 300 miles away), securing the more obscure ingredients for special dietary needs is significantly more challenging. For this reason, I create my dishes at home and they ride along with me to Nelchina. I also pack a cooler with other necessities. It’s the ultimate potluck holiday.

When I first discovered I was allergic to dairy, I was absolutely devastated. It was a long, painful process of trial and error to figure out what was safe to eat and cook. I had to relearn everything. Just as I figured out the dairy issue, I found I couldn’t stomach wheat and oats and I had to start all over again.

The biggest challenge wasn’t eating at home; it was eating out socially—parties, potlucks, gatherings with family. I was turning away well-intentioned friends who offered cookies and were insulted when I refused and I was struggling to explain why I wasn’t eating. The more time I spent at crowded parties, the more I felt emotionally isolated.

But as I became better educated about allergies and began playing with recipes, I grew more confident. I began to plan ahead and think strategically. I was determined to have fun socializing again. Fortunately, there are ways to savor the hospitality of others and really celebrate the season. Here are a few suggestions.

You’re the Guest
The chief goal of attending a social gathering is to enjoy the event. No one wants to spend the evening in the bathroom doubled over in pain, or worse, have to use an EpiPen and be hauled off in an ambulance. Here are steps you can take to avoid being a party pooper.

• Talk with Your Host Call well before the event and politely alert your host to your food allergies or sensitivities. Ask about the menu and offer to bring something that everyone will enjoy. This is particularly important if you’re attending a small dinner party or a weekend get-together. Be specific about what you can and cannot eat, explaining the food items that make you sick and, if you have anaphylaxis, that a reaction could be life threatening. Inform about cross contamination so that there is no surprise or awkwardness should you find you must decline part of the meal.
  
  If the event is to be catered, ask your host’s permission to speak with the caterer. Then call the company well ahead of time to inquire about food selection and ingredients. If a catered buffet is planned, request that each dish’s ingredients be labeled. If that's not possible, plan to arrive a few minutes early and walk through the dishes with the caterer.
  
  
• Tell Another Use your best judgment about divulging your medical condition but consider this: You give yourself extra eyes, ears and taste buds by alerting others to your allergy or sensitivity. Whether it’s your spouse or a close companion, one informed person can tip you off to potential hazards in the kitchen or dining room or on the buffet table.
  
  If you decide to confide in others, you’ll discover you’re not alone. Everyone knows someone with a food issue. You may build your support network and discover new friends (and recipes!) by sharing your story.
  
  
• Arrive Early If you show up before the other guests, you can offer to help in the kitchen. This is instructive because you can see how the food is being prepared and served. Chances are your host will
  appreciate the extra hand and you’ll be able to scope the place for cross contamination.
  
  
• Eat Before Don’t arrive famished. Hunger makes you lose your edge—you may take a bite that you’d never risk on a full belly. Play it safe by munching on a wholesome, satisfying snack before you leave the house. This way, you won’t be disappointed and feel irritated if there’s not much at the party you can eat.
  
  
• Share Favorites Bring a safe item or two to share. Alert your host ahead of time that you’d like to make a special dish, one that will complement the menu and that others are certain to enjoy. My criteria for BYO foods are that they be well balanced and taste good. I like to know that I will have a sufficient “meal” if it turns out that the item I carry into the gathering is the only food I can consume.
  
  
• Go First If they’re serving buffet-style, try to be one of the first in line. You want to avoid any potential for scattered ingredients and mixed-up serving spoons. Another option is to ask your host if you can prepare a plate early before the buffet starts. Then set your meal aside and eat when everyone else is served.
  
  
• Keep It Simple Be mindful of hidden ingredients. Stick to foods that you know are safe—whole foods that haven’t been processed, coated or mixed, such as plain fruit, vegetables and meats. Avoid the obvious no-nos, like breads and pastas. Watch out for sauces, dips, marinated items, casseroles and desserts unless you know for certain what’s in them.
  
  
• Give Thanks Be resolute about your safety but be gracious and courteous. Remember to say thank you to your host for being accommodating.
  
  
• Have Fun Party on! With your safety plan in place, you can relax and enjoy the festivities.

My allergies are serious and I never take them lightly. But I use my food challenges as an excuse to experiment with flavors, techniques and approaches to cooking. I say it’s okay to play with your food.

Friends and family can be a great source for recipes. Last year, a group of us engaged in a recipe swap, trading holiday favorites. I had fun adapting everyone’s dishes into allergy-friendly versions. Here are ideas for recipes you may want to bring along to your next dinner party. As we say in Norwegian tradition, “La oss spise!” Let’s eat!

Recipes:

• Winter Soup
• Creamy White Bean Dip